A Visit with St. Nicholas...

Tonights chapel service was a celebration of Advent.  As we look forward to the remembrance of Christ's birth, we inwardly reflect on the greatest gift mankind has ever been given.  We also remember St. Nicolas and his wonderfully giving heart.  Each year he comes bearing gifts to children young and not so old...but I sat on his lap anyway! He mentioned something about free tuition and a new snow shovel...but I have to be good...I won't get my hopes up to high then.
Nashotah is not like any other seminary.  I've been overwhelmed recently with all the papers to write, books to read, and exams to take.  Then there's the house payments to make, tuition to pay, and the dog to feed.  I just had to take out a student loan...$20,000...and that freaked me out.  I'm not one to live outside my means and have been asking a lot of questions about what this all means.  Does God want me to trust him with debt or is it his way of letting me know it's time to go?  Am I trusting in my own strength and not trusting God?  Am I being financially irresponsible?  The great thing about this place is that those you live with, worship with, and study with....they know.  Today Bryan stopped me after lunch and as we walked back to our apartments he cared enough to ask how I was doing...and then to listen...and I knew he cared...and that meant so much.  Today I also had to meet with a professor about a paper I recently turned in.  In all of my educational career I've never had a teacher spend over an hour with me explaining and discussing something I'd written and who also took the time to ask about how I was doing.  Twice in one day Jesus presented himself through two different Christian brothers that shared the love and concern of a family who cares and is concerned...and that...is priceless...

What the....

6:45 am...Abby and I catch a glimpse of the world that now is.  We look down a street that was once colored green now resembles some kind of walk-in freezer gone mad.  I was have expecting the white witch from Narnia to come riding by in her carriage and offer me some of those delicious British pastry...but alas...she never showed...

As for Abby, who hasn't seen this much white snow...ever, ran about exploring.  She appeared to be searching for grass, but never found any.  When it came time for her to relieve her body of all things unnecessary, she searched endlessly for any area where her bum didn't touch snow.  All attempts proved futile.

1:00 pm  The maintence crew here is brutal.  It was either skip class, skip duties in the refectory, or move my car.  My choice left me with an hour of shoveling, seminarians driving by very slowly, and one unwelcomed comment resembling a school yard chant that went something like, "That's what you get for not moving your car."  I wasn't amused.  I've learned my lesson however.  Next time...I ditch class...

Just for Laughs...

My neighbors, Nathaniel and Sarah, introduced me to these videos on Youtube.  Perhaps it's due to all the reading and heavy thinking but I think it's the candide camera type humor that is so funny.  Catching people in such amusing ways gets a chuckle every time.  Even today before Church History everyone gathered around my computer...even Dr. Peay...and had a good laugh together.  Hope you do too...

Zephaniah 3:17

The snow began to fall sometime yesterday and tonight we are to receive our first major artic blast of what the weather people like to refer as a potential disaster.  We are not to drive or leave our homes after dark...only if necessary...like you need eggs, break, or milk.  Otherwise Abby, Donner, and I are staying put.
It's been a busy week.  It's near the end of the semester and overwhelmed is not the right word.  Perhaps immobilized would be more appropriate.  On Sunday night I went to bed at 6am and got up at 7am...and still have pages to go before I sleep...
Dagnall, a senior this year, stopped me after lunch.  He asked how things were going and I told him...and he listened and reminded me of the words from Zephaniah 3:17 of how God is mighty to save.  As we talked, with the newly created snow encircling us, it was one of those moments when it was as if Jesus descended and listened and talked to you...face to face...one on one.  No agenda, no easy answers, no quick fixes.  Instead he had all the time in the world...to listen...and care.  It reminded me of just how much God needs us to be Jesus to other people...and how mighty he is to move our mountains...Jesus thank you for sending a rep my way and give me the power from you to actually believe that you are ever so mighty and willing to save...and Dagnall...thanks for being Jesus... to me...

Trifecta

Today was the first day back to school after being in Chicago for Thanksgiving.  Moses, Abby, Donner and I headed to the Windy City last Tuesday and spent several days eating and visiting with a wonderful family I've known for years.  As soon as chapel was over this morning Meredyth asked if I'd been to the post office yet.  "You've got a pile of boxes waiting for you...I've had my eye on them for days!"  It's such a blessing just to get the boxes...you don't even have to put anything in them at all, but how special and supported it makes me feel to know that others are thinking of me and praying for me.  It's like legal hormone shots that really pump you up!  I've yet to open them but I will...and to those who had a hand in this...God bless you...each and every one.  With lots to do before the end of the term I'm honored by your thoughtfulness and faithful support.  Love....rusty

A Painful Obiturary

Today at church this true obituary was shared about a women from southern California who died last year.  There is much to consider when reading such a statement of one's life.  For good or bad we leave a legacy behind of our deeds which can linger for future generations to consider...and for God to judge.  May I live accordingly...and Dolores...thanks for the reminder...


Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.


She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.


Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.


Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.


There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

Finding time...

    I know we each get the same amount of time allotted to us daily...but my clock must be losing time or something.  No matter how hard I try to work on those papers with December due dates, I find my head buried in some book in darkness and drool.  As I reorient myself I stagger to bed leaving a trail of clothes to pick up on my way to the shower in the morning.  I suppose many have passed this way before ( I know I have) and many will in the days ahead.  Yet the present finds me pleading for more time but to no avail.  Thanksgiving soon come.

Finally Found...

     After a long day of mental activity it's a blessing to be finally found at home where peace and quite reign.  Besides classes and two chapel services I had the time to fit in a few laughs and Greek vocab review with Moses, lunch with Andrew, a library visit with Jake, a mentoring session with Father Westberg, and a bible study with a small group in Milwaukee.  10:30 pm finds me a bit exhausted and confused after finishing a chapter in Greek about participles.  At times it feels hopeless.   As I glimpse the paper deadlines approaching the tidal wave of activity looms with fear and uncertainty.  Friends and fellow seminarians tell me that it will all get finished somehow but I'm lacking some faith... and besides my bed is tempting me.  I'll think I'll try and push through one more review of Colossians 3 and scan my Greek vocabulary words  before heading to bed to enjoy my heated mattress pad one more night.

Packages and Garbage

You would think that one would get used to taking out the garbage.  With all these years of practice it should come easy by now.  But some lessons just take time and this one just caught me by surprise.  If I'd known in my twenties that I'd be still cleaning dishes and hauling out garbage in my fifties...I would have killed myself....not really!    It's not the life I'd envisioned for myself with great financial wealth and security and retirement just around the corner.  God has this way of putting people in situations that seem incredibly challenging with no hope of success and we get to the place where we wonder if we really can...and then we find freedom...the freedom in actually realizing that I can't...but He can. Like I said...some lessons just take longer to learn.

PS  ...and as if you didn't know...I have wonderful friends who are quickly becoming the envy of all who visit the post office...who support and encourage me and lift me up on angels wings and show God's love to me in such tangible and thoughtful ways...God bless you Ty and Amanda...and I'm passing out your address to all my friends...you're loved and prayed for....

Frig Quotes

These days I'm finding that my frig has more things on the outside of it than anywhere else.  Don't get me wrong...there are a few things inside but eating in the Refectory cuts down on the need to cook for myself.  With all the stuff I magnetize to it (to remind me of all the stuff I need to remember) I rarely look at it.  Perhaps it's just for the atmosphere. The feeling you get when you convince yourself think that you're actually organized can be quite euphoric.  I am not quite sure why, but today I actually glanced above the photo and read a quotation from Thomas Merton that a friend sent me years ago.  It reads:

          You do not need to know precisely what is
          happening or exactly where it is all going.


          What you need is to recognize the challenges and
          opportunities offered by the present moment and
          to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.


Enough said.

Friday Night Lights on Saturday

Meredyth, a fellow seminarian, her sister, Andrew, Moses, and I went to support her nephew Logan on his way to victory tonight.  His team won 35-0 and now are on their way to the state championship game in Madison on Friday.  From the sound of things we'll be leaving Friday after classes and join lots of others in rooting on Marquette to another victory.  It feels a bit funny going to high school games again.  In some ways its hard to image that it's been so long since my days in high school, but in reality little has changed.  The hot dogs still taste the same while the couples still glue themselves to each other under the bleachers.  The marching bands continue to play but with different tunes.  If I remember correctly we were playing the theme from Shaft  and tonight Austin Power's appears to have taken over the trombone and flute sections.  All in all the trip down memory lane helped me to leave my books behind at least for a few hours.  I did take my Greek cards with me though.  As the winning team took to the field I cried, "I do!" That's the pronunciation of the Greek word for "Behold."  At least we learned one new word tonight.  They say the weathers wonderful with highs in the low 50's and no snow.  I'll take their word for it.

It's Halloween...

     Tonight all the kids of community stopped by for some candy with and showed off their costumes.  I hurried home to give out candy from 5:30 - 6:30, but have spent most of the day in the library.  Last night I left at about 1:30am and wasn't even the last one to head home...hope Shane got some sleep.  It seems like we have have two papers due on Tuesday...and so little time...I've pretty much finished the first one on the Decius Persecution and now am a third of the way done with paper two on the Didache.  Luckily tonight we turn the clocks back one hour so perhaps I'll get a bit more sleep.  The sheriff (it's a seminary student job, not a real one who writes tickets for money)just came by to lock up and turn off the lights so it's just me and my computer in the bottom of the library surounded by all these books and creaky sounds in the ceiling...on Halloween night...but...I'm...not...afraid...

Proverbs 14:20

      I remember telling some good friends before I left for seminary to pray for me in November.  "By then," I said, " I'll be thinking about all that I've left behind and wondering just what I'd done."  It seems I'm right on schedule.  I've been a bit on the mellow side these past few days not feeling like talking much.  When I lived alone I had plenty of time to be by myself and catch some alone time.  In community I'm finding it different...when sitting alone someone walks by and rubs your back or plops down beside you, not saying anything, just letting you know they care. Folks ask how you're doing and wonder if everythings okay.  After class friends take you with them to shop for Halloween candy and then to Dairy Queen for a pumpkin pie blizzard, and you find your load getting just a bit lighter.  Then you come home to discover that someone you've missed talking with has missed you too and has sent some Chai tea to remind you of your long conversations at Simply Yummy in Winston Salem...and then I remember how blessed I am once again to be surrounded...near and far...by my friends...whom I've never quite realized their value...until now...
    You will never know how much God has used you to encourage me, motivate me, and inspire me in this journey that I'm on...but I gotta run...some friends have invited me for dinner...

That was then...this is now...

Abby and I usually find some time each day to visit the graveyard.  Across the street from my apartment we make our way through the woods and come out amidst the markers that date back to the mid 1800's.  It's a quiet place (can you imagine) where solace can be found on days when you could really use some.  The picture above was taken sometime in August after we'd arrived and the one below just a few days ago.  It's been rather amazing to see some of the external differences that have taken place since that time.  Which lead me to ask myself, "What about internal changes?"
That's always a bit more difficult to consider but I know I'm sensing some.  The reality is is that no matter where you take yourself you always bring yourself along.  There was this initial period of excitement after unpacking.  So many new and different things to experience.  Every time you get in your car there's no more auto-pilot.  You have to get directions for everything even if it's only 5 minutes away. Everyday's an adventure.   After the honeymoon stage you find yourself asking lots of questions.  How will I be able to get all this work completed?  Why don't I seem to have enough time to get papers written?  Where did I put my notebook?  How am I going to pay for all this without a job?  What does one ousia and three hypostases really mean and why should I actually care?  Can I go to bed yet?  Did I really give up my job for this?
At 50, I thought I was done asking this sort of stuff.  I've been there several times already.  Must I pass through this same deep, dark, forest yet again?  I can't say I pass each test with flying colors and there are days when I feel like I'm just treading water...and not very well at that.  But for some reason God has brought me back to this place, to teach me things I've yet to learn, or perhaps, just forgotten.  God give me the grace to accept my trials that I might grow to lean upon you more.
I think it's about time for another walk in the graveyard...C'mon Abby!

Broken things...

    It's not everyday that someone you know gets there very own ISBN!  And the lucky number is... 1-90655-734 which belongs to Now My Eye Sees You by Dr. Timothy Johnson.  For the past twelve years he has worked on getting this book published and today the Nashotah House celebrated with him this wonderful achievement.  Dr. Johnson teaches Hebrew and Old Testament and at the moment I have him for a class in Biblical Interpretation.  He's the kind of teacher who when you ask him a question in class always promptly responds with, "That's a great question."  and always has time to spend with students.
So when I saw him tonight at our Community dinner I asked him where all his books were.  Being the humble guy that he is told me he'd left some copies in the his office to which I replied,
"Your kidding right?"  He wasn't.  I then told him that I would ride back to his office and grab the copies and return and with some reluctance he removed his office key from his ring and told me how to turn the key.

     As I was heading out the door I heard him mention to, "Make sure you turn it to the right.  It's a little tricky sometimes." When I got to his office door the key slid in with little problem and I turned it to the right and initially nothing happened. So I turned it to the left...still nothing.  So I turned it to the right again and before I could resist the force of gravity the damage had been completed.  I took out the key minus the long extended part and then prayed to God for an open window.  Jumping on my back I headed back to Refectory and ran into Patrick.  If you're ever in trouble and you need some help, by all means run into Patrick.  He is one of the kindest souls and immediately was on the phone to Jeff who works in maintenance.  No one answered.  By the time we made it back to the Refectory I tapped Dr. Johnson on the shoulder and explained what had happened.  He, as well as several others, seemed to find some humor in the situation and I do too, but at the moment I was in somewhat of a panic mode.  Later at dinner we had some good laughs and enjoyed the turkey, mash potatoes, and stuffing just fine.  It is a great blessing to live in a community where the men who teach you can be the same people who you find eating with, laughing with, and being encouraged by.  And after a day like yesterday, there is no place I'd rather be.
ps and as of this writing Dr. Johnson remains locked out of his office...pray for him...and me...

To write or not to write...

Blogs are the modern day diary.  In them we express thoughts, feelings, and daily dribble to keep a record of our journeys.  This one was started with the hope of having something to remember my days through seminary with.  The temptation is not to go too deep or completely express what's going on for fear that someone might read and misinterpret your intent or possibly make some judgments about your emotions and/or feelings.  I've never actually had others read my journals before and there are some great risks in that.  So at this point in time I'm not feeling very risky with my emotions a bit out of wack after an exhausting day that has miles to go before I sleep.  Let's just say, for memories sake, that this day proved to be disheartening in a way I've not felt since my arrival.  A day where dark clouds seemed to appear around every corner and no matter how hard I tried to push them away they followed me...perhaps it was due to a rather poor showing after hours of study on a Greek Mid-term, or the long work hours today in the Refectory, or riding to chapel in the rain only to discover they'd move the service time back an half hour...I know I'll survive...and it's just one day...and yet when days like this surface they can suck the life right out of you...wish me well...I've got to get back on my bike and ride in the rain to chapel again...and perhaps...just perhaps...God will meet me there.

Never lose the wonder...

http://zionpoint.org/index.htm

     Just returned from church and a short walk in the leaves with Abby.  Today Thad (our pastor) spoke on Mark 10:32 and following.  He spoke about how easy it is for things we once loved with great emotion and passion to become things merely ordinary and how sometimes the passion of our relationship with God can suffer some of the same consequences.  He asked us to consider if there were a time in our lives when faith was more growing, dynamic, or important than it is to me today...at this moment?  A seminary life can sometimes become all too familiar.  Studying the Bible, or reading about the church is so normal and intellectual that the wonder of it all can be lost amidst all the theory and speculation.  Remembering that the way of Christ is not merely and informational or academic pursuit is something I needed to hear.  So instead of studying for my Greek mid-term and write that paper on the Diocletian Persecution I headed for the trees with my camera, dog, and Greek flash cards and lost myself in some of God's wonder...at least for an hour or so...If you want to visit the website of Zion Church where I'm each Sunday just click on the link above...

Boys will be boys...

Moses and I found our eyelids falling from preparation for our Greek Mid-term on Monday when the phone rang.  It was John, a new father, also in our Greek class.  He had been out of school all last week with sickness running wild through his apartment.
     "What about a climb to the top of the tower?" he asked.  We'd been thinking and talking about it for weeks and now appeared to be the perfect day.  The old water tower sits on a sunny side on the north side of campus.  It's not used anymore but still has a safe ladder and nice ramp around the top that would be great for picturing taking.  It took Moses and I less than 5 minutes to grab cameras, shoes, and coats while waiting for John to arrive.  As we made our way through the woods and across the graveyard to our destination the I noticed that it didn't look so high from the bottom.

     "Just don't look down when you're climbing," John mentioned as he made his way up the ladder.  Moses followed and I waited till they had both reached the top...just for safety purposes...  It was beautiful from way up there.  I'm not sure of the actual height, but our guesses were somewhere between 60 - 1000 feet.  We did make it back safe and sound returning each and every one to more Greek study.  On the way home no one mentioned the obvious..."I wonder if there is a rule about climbing this thing...we didn't see anything posted."   I'm sure time will only tell...Now for some more Greek.

Rainy Days and Tuesdays

     It's after ten which isn't that late for a seminary student...but this one is on the exhausted side.  I just got back from a Bible study at Phil and Lisa's home in Milwaukee that I go to on Tuesday nights.  We are studying the book of James and the topic of the evening was Wisdom.  What does James mean when he is speaking of the wisdom of God and how is it perceived by our present culture?  I went away reminded of much and challenged to seek God for more.  Today I also was delighted to find a parcel awaiting me!  Cheryl, a friend from Boston, likes spending money on me (especially on the postage!) and it makes me feel rather special.  To be honest I have yet to open the parcel because it's a tradition between us that I call her and then open it at the same time so she can hear my reaction!  I'll let you know what treasures I find inside.
     Last week was a bit hectic.  I came down with a cold that took me out of class last week and kept me sleeping for most of the weekend.  I'm back to normal now for the most part but have some catching up to do with my reading and paper writing.  School has been keeping me busy.  It seems as if there is never enough time.  I'm not sure if I mentioned that not long after I'd arrived here I was having some trouble sleeping...but those days are thankfully gone.  When I climb into bed (with my heated mattress pad) I find myself dreaming in 60 seconds or less only to awakend by the 5:30 am alarm.  So I'm off to bed...

Matriculation Day

Last Thursday was Matriculation Day for Juniors here at Nashotah House.  It's a surprisingly rather special occasion and service when the new class of Juniors are officially welcomed as "Sons of the House."  The service begins outside with songs and prayers around the preaching cross which was erected 125 years ago this year.  The group proceeds around the grounds to Michael, our school bell, where more words and prayers said and Michael is rung.  This year was also the celebration of Michael's 125 year here on the grounds.  After we process into the chapel there is a special part of the service as each candidate's name is read upon which you proceed to the front of the chapel and sign "THE BOOK."  For over 160 years men and women have done the same here at Nashotah and the book is quite old.  I remember being told not to press the pen down too hard as it might good through the paper...and I forgot.  Thank heavens that by the second letter of my name, I'd remember!  Afterwards there is a community dinner on campus where this year we feasted on barbequed ribs and chicken.  It was so good and the fellowship was even better.  It proved to be a wonderful night of welcome and congratulations to each member of this years class.  As a special bonus we also learned that as members of the House we can be buried here on the grounds in that beautiful graveyard...and for no cost!  Now how can you beat that?

Fellow Refectorians

     You spend a lot of time with the people you work with and I'm lucky enough to spend my time in the Refectory with some pretty okay people.  Cheryl is our head cook extraordinaire!  She whips up our morning and afternoon meals with a smile and my favorite thus far is stuffed green peppers.  I hesitate to ask for liver and onions...I think I'll need to earn some extra brownie points before I take on that challenge.

Andrew is the senior refectorian.  He tells everyone what to do in the kindest and caring of ways.  Bryan is one of the dish scholars.  A dish scholar gets money towards their school bill for washing dishes at one of our meals.  We had a conference here at Nashotah this weekend which meant extra duty for all of us this weekend.  We made it through the event but lost some study time in the process.  I just finished an outline of Philippians 1:12-26, but haven't the energy to write a paper on Arius.  I think I'll sleep on it...

Lunchroom Banter...

     If you spent any time living on a college campus you know about eating in the dining hall.  After getting your food you would find a table where some of your friends were sitting and talk right through your next class if you weren't careful.  Some of my best memories of college were in the cafeteria and I thought that they were only fond memories of years ago.  Time has brought me back again and I find myself reliving those experiences here at Nashotah.  Today with our table nearly full one of my professors took a seat right next to me, a very common happening here at the House.  There is always an initial awkward sense that comes over me when someone I respect takes a seat next to me.  You pray you refrain from senseless babble and not spend the entire time talking about classroom lectures or projects.  Conversation is more than just sharing information.  It's about getting to know another person and letting them get to know you.  It's about sharing experiences that cause emotions to surface from time to time...and enjoying it.  It's hearing the lunch bell ring reminding you to bring up your dishes only to discover that your plate is still full of food.  At a seminary you'd expect that to happen with fellow seminarians but not regularly with your professors and yet I'm finding that here it's the new normal.  I still take pause when a faculty or staff member find their way to a table where I'm seated but so far I'm liking it just fine...

Father James

     Another avenue for Christian growth here at Nashotah is in the area of Spiritual Direction.  There are spiritual mentors on campus for you to meet with regularly about your spiritual growth and direction.  Last week during our Silent Retreat I was in the midst of eating lunch when Father Arnie Klukas whispered in my ear that there was someone visiting that he thought I'd connect well with.  Now when Father Klukas speaks to me I generally sit up and take notice so after eating and working in the Refectory I made my way over to the line waiting to speak with Father James Kaestner.  We spoke briefly and then made an appointment to get together later...which turned out to be today.  We spent an hour listening to the stories of each others lives and shared some good books we'd both been reading.  We ended our time in prayer and then made an appointment to get together again next month.  Relationships take time to develop.  They wind and curve through daily experiences, personal histories, and background narratives.  They grow by spending time with one another and doing the stuff of life together.  Father James and I appear to be headed in the right direction.

Phillip and Lisa

Tonight several of us gathered at the home of Philip and Lisa in Milwaukee for a Bible Study.  Phillip was a student here last year who I met while visiting last March.  He is now working on his doctorate at Marquette University.  He has also begun a small Bible study in his home that several of us attended for the first time tonight.  It was nice to get off campus and see some more of the city...even if it was dark.  Lisa showed us around their new home and we also feasted on her homemade chocolate chip cookies.  By the time I got home Moses had arrived.  We needed to finish up our Greek homework.  We both enjoy studying together...it's just that Greek takes up so much of our study time we have trouble getting work done for our other classes.  It's midnight and he just left...but we still have work to do.  I'm to meet him at 7:20am in the classroom to finish.  Wish us luck...and goodnight....

Welcome Distance Learners!

     This week our campus has nearly doubled in size.  Nashotah offers a distance learning program where students come to Nashotah for one week and then do the remainder of the coursework online for the next twelve weeks.  There are two different classes meeting this week.  One of them is a study of the Old Testament and all I know about the other class is that it is a small class.  I've met students at breakfast and while working on work crew.  Cindy is from San Jose, the mother of four, and is completing her final class in the two year long program.  "Beware of the Wisconsin winters," she told me.  "And don't take your gloves off to answer your cell.  It's not worth it."  I'll keep that in mind.
     I just finished up work crew in the Refectory.  Today was spent emptying trash, breaking down boxes, sweeping and mopping floors.  Just the regular kind of work one does in a Refectory.  In about a half hour I need to bike over to the chapel before evening prayer at 4:30...and then the remainder of the day belongs to me.  Moses and I are getting together for Greek study and then I need to catch up on some reading for Church History in the morning.  It's just a new normal Monday and I'm feeling right at home here...

Not napping...

    Even though I'm not taking a Sunday afternoon fiesta...I just discovered Abby and Donner were.  As you can tell from the picture the temps have dipped somewhat.  Donner, the cat, always loves snuggling with Abby as the temperature drops and Abby deals with it...but am not sure how she feels about it.  They keep telling us that this is unusual weather for this time of year...I'm just not buying it.  My neighbors and I have yet to turn our heat on.  I think we're trying to save money and see who gives in first.  I did go to Kohl's on Friday for a big sale and bought a heated mattress pad.  It's sort of like a heated blanket except you lay on top it...and it's warm!  You just set it before bed and it's nice and cozy when you get in.
     There is so much to tell about our days of silence and my week spent as a bell ringer.  It was a wonderful week of retreat.  I made the decision to use the time to memorize a chapter of Colossians and I accomplished learning chapter 3 with God's help.  Scripture memory is so valuable and a wonderful practice to assist one in meditating on God's word.
This past week I also served as bell ringer, leader of prayers in chapel, and communion server.  There was much to learn and do but Rob Kunes was an excellent teacher.  Each week a chapel scholar teaches you the ropes and serves as your guide and mentor throughout the week.  Rob handled all my questions with great patience and understanding.  At the moment I'm getting some reading done and an assignment due for Biblical Interpretation in the morning.  Thanks for all your prayers...and send up some for warmer weather!

Into the Silence...

   Every fall Nashotah holds a three day retreat.  Classes cease and the routines that we've learned these past few weeks are put on hold.  In the Benedictine tradition the entire House takes time each year to spend in personal silent retreat.  Each morning there will be a time to gather for an address by the former dean of the school, Retired Bishop of Quincey, Donald Parsons.  During meals there will be no conversations taking place.   The entire campus will cease it's chatter in hopes of hearing from God.  This will continue for the next three days.  It is a time for personal reflection, meditation, and prayer.  It is a time of listening....listening to the voice of God...and reflecting on what he teaches us.  So I will not be posting or emailing or calling for the next three days and I appreciate the prayers of God's people that I would be open to what God wants to show me in the days ahead.

German Potato Soup

Now that the leaves are falling and the first traces of autumn have arrived, it is time to pull out the old crock pot once again.  A fellow seminarian shared this receipe with me and it was quick, easy, and very tasty.  So for all looking for an easy meal with sauerkraut...enjoy....

You'll need:

1 pound cooked smoked sausage

14 oz frozen pkg has browns with pepper and onion

16 oz sauerkraut rinsed and drained

3 TBS brown mustard

3 cans chicken broth

Cut sausage lengthwise and cut into 1/2 slices.  Place sausage, potatoes, sauerkraut, and mustard in a crock pot.  Pour broth over and cover.  Cook on low for 7-9 hours.

There are moments...

     There are moments, even in seminary, when you wonder what in the world has happened to the life you once knew.  Mine came yesterday in the midst of Greek class.  I remember hearing something about prepositions and how that one word could have one to three meanings depending on the word following it...and then I lost all knowledge of time and space.  It was as if someone had reached inside my brain and started mixing it like cookie dough.  I wasn't in the best of moods when I finally returned to the sanctity of my little apartment and found viewing several episodes of Lost to be somewhat cathartic.  After evening chapel several of us got together to shop and eat.  I needed some black jeans for chapel as this week I take my turn at being the bell ringer.  It's a rather big responsibility for us juniors and Jake walked me through my various tasks yesterday, but more of that later.  Being with others made me feel much better.  To add to my blessings I received two packages.  One included a card from my church and another from Pat who sent me a handmade winter muffler.  It made me ever so thankful for those who continue to pray for me many miles from home.  All in all I'm very blessed to be here experiencing life with such a supportive community...but there are moments.

Early Morning Prayers

     Darkness prevailed as I made my way to the chapel at about 6am.  Today was our day of prayer for Carol Klukas.  From the moment she arrived at the hospital for her colon surgery at 5:30am until she was in the recovery room and beyond, students at Nashotah were in prayer on her behalf.  Students signed up for 15 minutes time periods to ask God to heal and restore Carol's body as well as to bring peace and comfort to her husband Arnie.      During class someone checked for email updates concerning her condition and by lunch time we were told that she came through the procedure beautifully and resting comfortably.  It will be a week before tests reveal the extent of the cancer, but at this point things look very good.  As you are able continue to pray that God would..."Sanctify the sickness of your servant Carol that the sense of her weakness may add strength to her faith..."

Reading, reading, and more reading...

     You know the drill.  Go to class and take this book home and read it by tomorrow.  There may be a quiz on it on Monday...but maybe not.  Walking the line of a student can be quite the challenge some days. You read a page only to realize that you haven't any idea what you've just read.  Or perhaps after an hour or so you awaken to find your head buried in some tex...t literally...and hoping no one saw you.  Well today feels like one of those days.  The books I'm going through at the moment are historical and biblical.  How does one piece together the extensive and somewhat complicated history of the Christian Church?  Another one deals with the reading of Scripture and how the Old and New Testaments link together.  It's actually quite interesting reading that demands deep concentration proving a challenge at times.  Coming from me that sounds a bit strange to many of my friends.  I'm the one who was always reading something, but when it's your job it takes on a whole new meaning.  I'm learning how to read fast when I prefer to take my time and savor each page.  In actuality it just takes me a bit longer to comprehend it all.  In any case I'm diving back in.  Wish me God's speed...

He Will Supply...Indeed...

     It's been a little over a month since I arrived and every stroll around the campus tends to amaze me in some sense.  It's not only the beauty I'm surrounded by here at Nashotah, but how my life has so dramatically changed in twelve months.  A year ago would have found me in North Carolina, teaching first grade and quite content to remain there for several more years.  Now my life finds me on a whole new path, with a new vision and purpose, and basking in this new adventure God has permitted me to take.  If I could have seen my life now when I was 25, I would have thought it impossible.
     Another thing I continually think of as impossible is how one does actually pay for a seminary education these days.  I remember calling Carol Klukas last summer and asking if perhaps waiting a year wouldn't be the wiser thing to do.  I still remember her telling me to come and see what God does.  "It never ceases to amaze me how God provides."  Today was one of those times.
     I've been waiting for an expected package to arrive and with my refectory duties had no time for a  quick visit to the mailroom.  Meredith said she'd stop and get my mail and bring it to Greek class this afternoon.  By the time I arrived, class had started but I saw that an envelop with my name on it was near my computer.  It wasn't what I was expecting and didn't even have any postage or return address on the front.  "It's probably a reminder or note about something," I thought as I opened it.  Inside was a note sharing with me that my school account had been credited...for $4000.00.  A gift from someone in Texas.  Let's just say my mind was not even close to thinking about Greek prepositions for the next 45 minutes.

     In the midst of the class my mind flashed to my morning walk and the prayer that I had read.  "Grant that I, Lord, may not be anxious about earthly things, but love things heavenly; and even now, while I am placed among things that are passing away, hold fast to those that shall endure..."  Anyone who knows me realizes how difficult it is to trust God...especially with money.  It's one thing I'd rather handle myself...and yet here I am learning to let God supply...more than I can ever ask or think.  Thank you kind stranger for letting God use you to teach me more about trust and the vast reaches God has for all of his children.

Saturdays are for Friends

    



After morning chapel I hurried home for a bowl of Cheerios.  Even though I had much to do, it felt good to be out of a normal weekday schedule and dealing with time  on my own terms.  Moses arrived and we headed out for haircuts and then some grocery shopping.  Moses Hataw is a visiting student from Burma, studying here for two years before returning home to teach.  He spent the afternoon teaching me to cook the way they do in his country and then we invited Sarah and Nathaniel from next door to enjoy the feast.  I've never knew rice could taste so good.  For the remainder of the afternoon we worked through our Greek homework but didn't finish (does one ever actually finish Greek homework?)  We were too exhausted to focus another minute on parsing nouns (don't ask) and declining verbs...so we chose reclining instead.   By the time the dinner hour beckoned  I was too tired to eat but did it anyway.  Sarah knocked on the door to say there was pizza next door.  Tomorrow Moses is due to return sometime after dinner so we can finish our homework and study for a Greek quiz on Monday.  It seems as if Greek takes up a bit of time... as much as I talk about it...and it does.  I'm enjoying the class and learning the language of the Bible, but it does take some effort.

Dr. Carol Klukas

When I arrived on campus last March, it was Carol Klukas who met me after a long flight in the Refectory.

"You must be Rusty," she said as her warm smile greeted me.

"I have been looking forward to seeing you since 2004."  Several years before I had registered to attend a similar weekend but things hadn't worked out at the time.  For the next several days we spoke, shared and connected.  When the weekend finally commenced we caught each other for one more brief conversation and mentioned to each other how it had felt we'd known each other a long time.  Through the application process we talked often and she was always so encouraging.  In July I'd called to say I wasn't sure what to do.  The house hadn't sold (still not a buyer), funds were low, and I was thinking perhaps the timing wasn't just right.  I remember her telling me not to worry and to trust God...He would supply all my needs.  God used her in a great way to begin the journey I'm now on and I thank Him daily for her presence here on campus.  This week Carol found out she was beginning another kind of journey.  On Tuesday she went in for a colonoscopy and found out that there is cancer in her colon.  She will have surgery next week.  I saw her for a moment this afternoon and she greeted me with a big hug and her usual glowing smile.  She feels the prayers of God's people...but I'd like her to feel some more.  During your prayers this week would you say an extra one for Carol, her husband Arnie and her family?  God is so ready to do more than we can ask or think.

ps...Carol's in the middle of the photo...Roy and Meridath, fellow Junior Seminarians join her...

Mail Room Glory

When a package arrives in the seminary mailroom it's a big event.  I hadn't even been to check my mail when someone stopped me on my way to the refectory.

"Hey Rusty...you got a package in the mailroom."  Accepting the news with a slight smile I didn't get my hopes up too high.  Perhaps it was just a box of forwarded mail or maybe some books I'd left behind in North Carolina.  Before I could finish lunch another fellow seminarian let it be known that a box was awaiting me in the mailroom and it looked "big."  Now my curiosity was getting the best of me. So before choir rehearsal I peddled my bike over to the mailroom and I indeed had hit the jackpot.  A former parent of mine at Summit School had not forgotten me all the way up here in Wisconsin.  She sent a warm blanket, a good book by Donald Miller (how did you know?), several canisters of New Moravian pumpkin cookies, tea, and a card.  On the handwritten envelope were the words, "Don't forget about us."  How could I?  It's the simple things in life that mean so much as I spent the rest of the day feeling special.  Thanks Jennifer, Austin, Garrett, and Blake...for not only a wonderful taste of home if only in my dreams....

Late Nights...

     It's nearly midnight and I haven't cracked a book since lunchtime.  After our classes and lunch I made my way back to my Greek support group.  Actually Nashotah provides an additional resource on Tuesday and Thursday for those special students like me who just can't seem to get enough on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.  Immediately following we had a seminar on the Bible Works Software which we'll be using in Greek and various other classes.  The hour and a half demonstration was enough to make your head spin.  I can't begin to explain it at the moment, but when I understand it I'll pass along the information as I receive it.  We had Evening Prayer at 4 and upon its completion several of us jumped into a car and headed to Kenosha, Wisconsin.  When I visited Nashotah last March with my rector, Father Ben, he introduced me to Phillip Anderas a student here last year.  Since I arrived in August we've had the chance to get together a few times and email.  Tonight was Phillip's ordination as a Deacon.  It was a wonderful service where I got to meet an AMIA bishop and reconnect with William Beasley, the rector of the first AMIA church I attended in Chicago.  It was a great night and I know how much Father Ben would have liked to have been there. I've yet to read Polycarp for Historical Theology in about 8 hours and I'm fading fast. Wish me luck...

Test Taking...

Just for perspective the picture on the right is my view of the classroom from where I sit in Classroom 1. At Nashotah all Juniors (first year students) stay in the same room each morning while the teachers are the ones who move around. For students it means we can bring in comfortable office chairs, leave materials we don't want to carry back and forth, and even coffee makers! It's all part of making the environment more conducive for learning...and I'm quite happy with it. The picture on the left is near the end of our class with Dr. Garwood Anderson our Academic Dean and Associate Professor of New Testament and Greek. This semester I find myself sitting in two of his classes which include Greek and Biblical Interpretation. Today we had our first Greek quiz so a group of us spent the weekend learning our 30 vocabulary words, verb endings, and the different endings for Nominative and Accusative nouns and Direct Objects. As the bell rang for our 10:40 class all the feelings I'd remembered from previous educational settings returned. I recalled the fear of having a mental meltdown and all the information studied would be lost in space or perhaps the sense of controlled panic as the pile of test papers made their way closer. Finally I prayed the infamous, "Dear Father give me Total Recall...lest I perish! My personal dignity rests on this!" As of this writing I am quite confident that I did not fail and my quiz revealed that if I can learn that much Greek in just four class sessions just think what I'll know by the end of the term. I've heard it's just enough to make me dangerous...