Proverbs 14:20

      I remember telling some good friends before I left for seminary to pray for me in November.  "By then," I said, " I'll be thinking about all that I've left behind and wondering just what I'd done."  It seems I'm right on schedule.  I've been a bit on the mellow side these past few days not feeling like talking much.  When I lived alone I had plenty of time to be by myself and catch some alone time.  In community I'm finding it different...when sitting alone someone walks by and rubs your back or plops down beside you, not saying anything, just letting you know they care. Folks ask how you're doing and wonder if everythings okay.  After class friends take you with them to shop for Halloween candy and then to Dairy Queen for a pumpkin pie blizzard, and you find your load getting just a bit lighter.  Then you come home to discover that someone you've missed talking with has missed you too and has sent some Chai tea to remind you of your long conversations at Simply Yummy in Winston Salem...and then I remember how blessed I am once again to be surrounded...near and far...by my friends...whom I've never quite realized their value...until now...
    You will never know how much God has used you to encourage me, motivate me, and inspire me in this journey that I'm on...but I gotta run...some friends have invited me for dinner...

That was then...this is now...

Abby and I usually find some time each day to visit the graveyard.  Across the street from my apartment we make our way through the woods and come out amidst the markers that date back to the mid 1800's.  It's a quiet place (can you imagine) where solace can be found on days when you could really use some.  The picture above was taken sometime in August after we'd arrived and the one below just a few days ago.  It's been rather amazing to see some of the external differences that have taken place since that time.  Which lead me to ask myself, "What about internal changes?"
That's always a bit more difficult to consider but I know I'm sensing some.  The reality is is that no matter where you take yourself you always bring yourself along.  There was this initial period of excitement after unpacking.  So many new and different things to experience.  Every time you get in your car there's no more auto-pilot.  You have to get directions for everything even if it's only 5 minutes away. Everyday's an adventure.   After the honeymoon stage you find yourself asking lots of questions.  How will I be able to get all this work completed?  Why don't I seem to have enough time to get papers written?  Where did I put my notebook?  How am I going to pay for all this without a job?  What does one ousia and three hypostases really mean and why should I actually care?  Can I go to bed yet?  Did I really give up my job for this?
At 50, I thought I was done asking this sort of stuff.  I've been there several times already.  Must I pass through this same deep, dark, forest yet again?  I can't say I pass each test with flying colors and there are days when I feel like I'm just treading water...and not very well at that.  But for some reason God has brought me back to this place, to teach me things I've yet to learn, or perhaps, just forgotten.  God give me the grace to accept my trials that I might grow to lean upon you more.
I think it's about time for another walk in the graveyard...C'mon Abby!

Broken things...

    It's not everyday that someone you know gets there very own ISBN!  And the lucky number is... 1-90655-734 which belongs to Now My Eye Sees You by Dr. Timothy Johnson.  For the past twelve years he has worked on getting this book published and today the Nashotah House celebrated with him this wonderful achievement.  Dr. Johnson teaches Hebrew and Old Testament and at the moment I have him for a class in Biblical Interpretation.  He's the kind of teacher who when you ask him a question in class always promptly responds with, "That's a great question."  and always has time to spend with students.
So when I saw him tonight at our Community dinner I asked him where all his books were.  Being the humble guy that he is told me he'd left some copies in the his office to which I replied,
"Your kidding right?"  He wasn't.  I then told him that I would ride back to his office and grab the copies and return and with some reluctance he removed his office key from his ring and told me how to turn the key.

     As I was heading out the door I heard him mention to, "Make sure you turn it to the right.  It's a little tricky sometimes." When I got to his office door the key slid in with little problem and I turned it to the right and initially nothing happened. So I turned it to the left...still nothing.  So I turned it to the right again and before I could resist the force of gravity the damage had been completed.  I took out the key minus the long extended part and then prayed to God for an open window.  Jumping on my back I headed back to Refectory and ran into Patrick.  If you're ever in trouble and you need some help, by all means run into Patrick.  He is one of the kindest souls and immediately was on the phone to Jeff who works in maintenance.  No one answered.  By the time we made it back to the Refectory I tapped Dr. Johnson on the shoulder and explained what had happened.  He, as well as several others, seemed to find some humor in the situation and I do too, but at the moment I was in somewhat of a panic mode.  Later at dinner we had some good laughs and enjoyed the turkey, mash potatoes, and stuffing just fine.  It is a great blessing to live in a community where the men who teach you can be the same people who you find eating with, laughing with, and being encouraged by.  And after a day like yesterday, there is no place I'd rather be.
ps and as of this writing Dr. Johnson remains locked out of his office...pray for him...and me...

To write or not to write...

Blogs are the modern day diary.  In them we express thoughts, feelings, and daily dribble to keep a record of our journeys.  This one was started with the hope of having something to remember my days through seminary with.  The temptation is not to go too deep or completely express what's going on for fear that someone might read and misinterpret your intent or possibly make some judgments about your emotions and/or feelings.  I've never actually had others read my journals before and there are some great risks in that.  So at this point in time I'm not feeling very risky with my emotions a bit out of wack after an exhausting day that has miles to go before I sleep.  Let's just say, for memories sake, that this day proved to be disheartening in a way I've not felt since my arrival.  A day where dark clouds seemed to appear around every corner and no matter how hard I tried to push them away they followed me...perhaps it was due to a rather poor showing after hours of study on a Greek Mid-term, or the long work hours today in the Refectory, or riding to chapel in the rain only to discover they'd move the service time back an half hour...I know I'll survive...and it's just one day...and yet when days like this surface they can suck the life right out of you...wish me well...I've got to get back on my bike and ride in the rain to chapel again...and perhaps...just perhaps...God will meet me there.

Never lose the wonder...

http://zionpoint.org/index.htm

     Just returned from church and a short walk in the leaves with Abby.  Today Thad (our pastor) spoke on Mark 10:32 and following.  He spoke about how easy it is for things we once loved with great emotion and passion to become things merely ordinary and how sometimes the passion of our relationship with God can suffer some of the same consequences.  He asked us to consider if there were a time in our lives when faith was more growing, dynamic, or important than it is to me today...at this moment?  A seminary life can sometimes become all too familiar.  Studying the Bible, or reading about the church is so normal and intellectual that the wonder of it all can be lost amidst all the theory and speculation.  Remembering that the way of Christ is not merely and informational or academic pursuit is something I needed to hear.  So instead of studying for my Greek mid-term and write that paper on the Diocletian Persecution I headed for the trees with my camera, dog, and Greek flash cards and lost myself in some of God's wonder...at least for an hour or so...If you want to visit the website of Zion Church where I'm each Sunday just click on the link above...

Boys will be boys...

Moses and I found our eyelids falling from preparation for our Greek Mid-term on Monday when the phone rang.  It was John, a new father, also in our Greek class.  He had been out of school all last week with sickness running wild through his apartment.
     "What about a climb to the top of the tower?" he asked.  We'd been thinking and talking about it for weeks and now appeared to be the perfect day.  The old water tower sits on a sunny side on the north side of campus.  It's not used anymore but still has a safe ladder and nice ramp around the top that would be great for picturing taking.  It took Moses and I less than 5 minutes to grab cameras, shoes, and coats while waiting for John to arrive.  As we made our way through the woods and across the graveyard to our destination the I noticed that it didn't look so high from the bottom.

     "Just don't look down when you're climbing," John mentioned as he made his way up the ladder.  Moses followed and I waited till they had both reached the top...just for safety purposes...  It was beautiful from way up there.  I'm not sure of the actual height, but our guesses were somewhere between 60 - 1000 feet.  We did make it back safe and sound returning each and every one to more Greek study.  On the way home no one mentioned the obvious..."I wonder if there is a rule about climbing this thing...we didn't see anything posted."   I'm sure time will only tell...Now for some more Greek.

Rainy Days and Tuesdays

     It's after ten which isn't that late for a seminary student...but this one is on the exhausted side.  I just got back from a Bible study at Phil and Lisa's home in Milwaukee that I go to on Tuesday nights.  We are studying the book of James and the topic of the evening was Wisdom.  What does James mean when he is speaking of the wisdom of God and how is it perceived by our present culture?  I went away reminded of much and challenged to seek God for more.  Today I also was delighted to find a parcel awaiting me!  Cheryl, a friend from Boston, likes spending money on me (especially on the postage!) and it makes me feel rather special.  To be honest I have yet to open the parcel because it's a tradition between us that I call her and then open it at the same time so she can hear my reaction!  I'll let you know what treasures I find inside.
     Last week was a bit hectic.  I came down with a cold that took me out of class last week and kept me sleeping for most of the weekend.  I'm back to normal now for the most part but have some catching up to do with my reading and paper writing.  School has been keeping me busy.  It seems as if there is never enough time.  I'm not sure if I mentioned that not long after I'd arrived here I was having some trouble sleeping...but those days are thankfully gone.  When I climb into bed (with my heated mattress pad) I find myself dreaming in 60 seconds or less only to awakend by the 5:30 am alarm.  So I'm off to bed...

Matriculation Day

Last Thursday was Matriculation Day for Juniors here at Nashotah House.  It's a surprisingly rather special occasion and service when the new class of Juniors are officially welcomed as "Sons of the House."  The service begins outside with songs and prayers around the preaching cross which was erected 125 years ago this year.  The group proceeds around the grounds to Michael, our school bell, where more words and prayers said and Michael is rung.  This year was also the celebration of Michael's 125 year here on the grounds.  After we process into the chapel there is a special part of the service as each candidate's name is read upon which you proceed to the front of the chapel and sign "THE BOOK."  For over 160 years men and women have done the same here at Nashotah and the book is quite old.  I remember being told not to press the pen down too hard as it might good through the paper...and I forgot.  Thank heavens that by the second letter of my name, I'd remember!  Afterwards there is a community dinner on campus where this year we feasted on barbequed ribs and chicken.  It was so good and the fellowship was even better.  It proved to be a wonderful night of welcome and congratulations to each member of this years class.  As a special bonus we also learned that as members of the House we can be buried here on the grounds in that beautiful graveyard...and for no cost!  Now how can you beat that?

Fellow Refectorians

     You spend a lot of time with the people you work with and I'm lucky enough to spend my time in the Refectory with some pretty okay people.  Cheryl is our head cook extraordinaire!  She whips up our morning and afternoon meals with a smile and my favorite thus far is stuffed green peppers.  I hesitate to ask for liver and onions...I think I'll need to earn some extra brownie points before I take on that challenge.

Andrew is the senior refectorian.  He tells everyone what to do in the kindest and caring of ways.  Bryan is one of the dish scholars.  A dish scholar gets money towards their school bill for washing dishes at one of our meals.  We had a conference here at Nashotah this weekend which meant extra duty for all of us this weekend.  We made it through the event but lost some study time in the process.  I just finished an outline of Philippians 1:12-26, but haven't the energy to write a paper on Arius.  I think I'll sleep on it...

Lunchroom Banter...

     If you spent any time living on a college campus you know about eating in the dining hall.  After getting your food you would find a table where some of your friends were sitting and talk right through your next class if you weren't careful.  Some of my best memories of college were in the cafeteria and I thought that they were only fond memories of years ago.  Time has brought me back again and I find myself reliving those experiences here at Nashotah.  Today with our table nearly full one of my professors took a seat right next to me, a very common happening here at the House.  There is always an initial awkward sense that comes over me when someone I respect takes a seat next to me.  You pray you refrain from senseless babble and not spend the entire time talking about classroom lectures or projects.  Conversation is more than just sharing information.  It's about getting to know another person and letting them get to know you.  It's about sharing experiences that cause emotions to surface from time to time...and enjoying it.  It's hearing the lunch bell ring reminding you to bring up your dishes only to discover that your plate is still full of food.  At a seminary you'd expect that to happen with fellow seminarians but not regularly with your professors and yet I'm finding that here it's the new normal.  I still take pause when a faculty or staff member find their way to a table where I'm seated but so far I'm liking it just fine...

Father James

     Another avenue for Christian growth here at Nashotah is in the area of Spiritual Direction.  There are spiritual mentors on campus for you to meet with regularly about your spiritual growth and direction.  Last week during our Silent Retreat I was in the midst of eating lunch when Father Arnie Klukas whispered in my ear that there was someone visiting that he thought I'd connect well with.  Now when Father Klukas speaks to me I generally sit up and take notice so after eating and working in the Refectory I made my way over to the line waiting to speak with Father James Kaestner.  We spoke briefly and then made an appointment to get together later...which turned out to be today.  We spent an hour listening to the stories of each others lives and shared some good books we'd both been reading.  We ended our time in prayer and then made an appointment to get together again next month.  Relationships take time to develop.  They wind and curve through daily experiences, personal histories, and background narratives.  They grow by spending time with one another and doing the stuff of life together.  Father James and I appear to be headed in the right direction.

Phillip and Lisa

Tonight several of us gathered at the home of Philip and Lisa in Milwaukee for a Bible Study.  Phillip was a student here last year who I met while visiting last March.  He is now working on his doctorate at Marquette University.  He has also begun a small Bible study in his home that several of us attended for the first time tonight.  It was nice to get off campus and see some more of the city...even if it was dark.  Lisa showed us around their new home and we also feasted on her homemade chocolate chip cookies.  By the time I got home Moses had arrived.  We needed to finish up our Greek homework.  We both enjoy studying together...it's just that Greek takes up so much of our study time we have trouble getting work done for our other classes.  It's midnight and he just left...but we still have work to do.  I'm to meet him at 7:20am in the classroom to finish.  Wish us luck...and goodnight....

Welcome Distance Learners!

     This week our campus has nearly doubled in size.  Nashotah offers a distance learning program where students come to Nashotah for one week and then do the remainder of the coursework online for the next twelve weeks.  There are two different classes meeting this week.  One of them is a study of the Old Testament and all I know about the other class is that it is a small class.  I've met students at breakfast and while working on work crew.  Cindy is from San Jose, the mother of four, and is completing her final class in the two year long program.  "Beware of the Wisconsin winters," she told me.  "And don't take your gloves off to answer your cell.  It's not worth it."  I'll keep that in mind.
     I just finished up work crew in the Refectory.  Today was spent emptying trash, breaking down boxes, sweeping and mopping floors.  Just the regular kind of work one does in a Refectory.  In about a half hour I need to bike over to the chapel before evening prayer at 4:30...and then the remainder of the day belongs to me.  Moses and I are getting together for Greek study and then I need to catch up on some reading for Church History in the morning.  It's just a new normal Monday and I'm feeling right at home here...

Not napping...

    Even though I'm not taking a Sunday afternoon fiesta...I just discovered Abby and Donner were.  As you can tell from the picture the temps have dipped somewhat.  Donner, the cat, always loves snuggling with Abby as the temperature drops and Abby deals with it...but am not sure how she feels about it.  They keep telling us that this is unusual weather for this time of year...I'm just not buying it.  My neighbors and I have yet to turn our heat on.  I think we're trying to save money and see who gives in first.  I did go to Kohl's on Friday for a big sale and bought a heated mattress pad.  It's sort of like a heated blanket except you lay on top it...and it's warm!  You just set it before bed and it's nice and cozy when you get in.
     There is so much to tell about our days of silence and my week spent as a bell ringer.  It was a wonderful week of retreat.  I made the decision to use the time to memorize a chapter of Colossians and I accomplished learning chapter 3 with God's help.  Scripture memory is so valuable and a wonderful practice to assist one in meditating on God's word.
This past week I also served as bell ringer, leader of prayers in chapel, and communion server.  There was much to learn and do but Rob Kunes was an excellent teacher.  Each week a chapel scholar teaches you the ropes and serves as your guide and mentor throughout the week.  Rob handled all my questions with great patience and understanding.  At the moment I'm getting some reading done and an assignment due for Biblical Interpretation in the morning.  Thanks for all your prayers...and send up some for warmer weather!