Trifecta

Today was the first day back to school after being in Chicago for Thanksgiving.  Moses, Abby, Donner and I headed to the Windy City last Tuesday and spent several days eating and visiting with a wonderful family I've known for years.  As soon as chapel was over this morning Meredyth asked if I'd been to the post office yet.  "You've got a pile of boxes waiting for you...I've had my eye on them for days!"  It's such a blessing just to get the boxes...you don't even have to put anything in them at all, but how special and supported it makes me feel to know that others are thinking of me and praying for me.  It's like legal hormone shots that really pump you up!  I've yet to open them but I will...and to those who had a hand in this...God bless you...each and every one.  With lots to do before the end of the term I'm honored by your thoughtfulness and faithful support.  Love....rusty

A Painful Obiturary

Today at church this true obituary was shared about a women from southern California who died last year.  There is much to consider when reading such a statement of one's life.  For good or bad we leave a legacy behind of our deeds which can linger for future generations to consider...and for God to judge.  May I live accordingly...and Dolores...thanks for the reminder...


Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.


She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.


Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.


Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.


There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

Finding time...

    I know we each get the same amount of time allotted to us daily...but my clock must be losing time or something.  No matter how hard I try to work on those papers with December due dates, I find my head buried in some book in darkness and drool.  As I reorient myself I stagger to bed leaving a trail of clothes to pick up on my way to the shower in the morning.  I suppose many have passed this way before ( I know I have) and many will in the days ahead.  Yet the present finds me pleading for more time but to no avail.  Thanksgiving soon come.

Finally Found...

     After a long day of mental activity it's a blessing to be finally found at home where peace and quite reign.  Besides classes and two chapel services I had the time to fit in a few laughs and Greek vocab review with Moses, lunch with Andrew, a library visit with Jake, a mentoring session with Father Westberg, and a bible study with a small group in Milwaukee.  10:30 pm finds me a bit exhausted and confused after finishing a chapter in Greek about participles.  At times it feels hopeless.   As I glimpse the paper deadlines approaching the tidal wave of activity looms with fear and uncertainty.  Friends and fellow seminarians tell me that it will all get finished somehow but I'm lacking some faith... and besides my bed is tempting me.  I'll think I'll try and push through one more review of Colossians 3 and scan my Greek vocabulary words  before heading to bed to enjoy my heated mattress pad one more night.

Packages and Garbage

You would think that one would get used to taking out the garbage.  With all these years of practice it should come easy by now.  But some lessons just take time and this one just caught me by surprise.  If I'd known in my twenties that I'd be still cleaning dishes and hauling out garbage in my fifties...I would have killed myself....not really!    It's not the life I'd envisioned for myself with great financial wealth and security and retirement just around the corner.  God has this way of putting people in situations that seem incredibly challenging with no hope of success and we get to the place where we wonder if we really can...and then we find freedom...the freedom in actually realizing that I can't...but He can. Like I said...some lessons just take longer to learn.

PS  ...and as if you didn't know...I have wonderful friends who are quickly becoming the envy of all who visit the post office...who support and encourage me and lift me up on angels wings and show God's love to me in such tangible and thoughtful ways...God bless you Ty and Amanda...and I'm passing out your address to all my friends...you're loved and prayed for....

Frig Quotes

These days I'm finding that my frig has more things on the outside of it than anywhere else.  Don't get me wrong...there are a few things inside but eating in the Refectory cuts down on the need to cook for myself.  With all the stuff I magnetize to it (to remind me of all the stuff I need to remember) I rarely look at it.  Perhaps it's just for the atmosphere. The feeling you get when you convince yourself think that you're actually organized can be quite euphoric.  I am not quite sure why, but today I actually glanced above the photo and read a quotation from Thomas Merton that a friend sent me years ago.  It reads:

          You do not need to know precisely what is
          happening or exactly where it is all going.


          What you need is to recognize the challenges and
          opportunities offered by the present moment and
          to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.


Enough said.

Friday Night Lights on Saturday

Meredyth, a fellow seminarian, her sister, Andrew, Moses, and I went to support her nephew Logan on his way to victory tonight.  His team won 35-0 and now are on their way to the state championship game in Madison on Friday.  From the sound of things we'll be leaving Friday after classes and join lots of others in rooting on Marquette to another victory.  It feels a bit funny going to high school games again.  In some ways its hard to image that it's been so long since my days in high school, but in reality little has changed.  The hot dogs still taste the same while the couples still glue themselves to each other under the bleachers.  The marching bands continue to play but with different tunes.  If I remember correctly we were playing the theme from Shaft  and tonight Austin Power's appears to have taken over the trombone and flute sections.  All in all the trip down memory lane helped me to leave my books behind at least for a few hours.  I did take my Greek cards with me though.  As the winning team took to the field I cried, "I do!" That's the pronunciation of the Greek word for "Behold."  At least we learned one new word tonight.  They say the weathers wonderful with highs in the low 50's and no snow.  I'll take their word for it.

It's Halloween...

     Tonight all the kids of community stopped by for some candy with and showed off their costumes.  I hurried home to give out candy from 5:30 - 6:30, but have spent most of the day in the library.  Last night I left at about 1:30am and wasn't even the last one to head home...hope Shane got some sleep.  It seems like we have have two papers due on Tuesday...and so little time...I've pretty much finished the first one on the Decius Persecution and now am a third of the way done with paper two on the Didache.  Luckily tonight we turn the clocks back one hour so perhaps I'll get a bit more sleep.  The sheriff (it's a seminary student job, not a real one who writes tickets for money)just came by to lock up and turn off the lights so it's just me and my computer in the bottom of the library surounded by all these books and creaky sounds in the ceiling...on Halloween night...but...I'm...not...afraid...