Good Morning North Carolina...

I can hear the rain falling outside my window as I find myself still away in the wee hours of a new day.  I spent the evening conversing with a dear friend I used to teach with in North Carolina.  I'm back "home" for the week and it's my first return visit since I left over 6 months ago.  While Carol and I talked and shared, Leon her husband fell asleep on the couch interrupting us occasionally with the sounds that accompany someone in deep, deep sleep!  In the morning we are going to visit the school where I taught last year...so I'm off to bed...6am comes rather early...

Donner...1996-2010

I still remember picking him up from the airport.  I was living in Winston Salem, NC in an apartment and decided on getting two cats.  After a bit of research I learned that Burmese cats are one of the most social and personable breeds so I contacted a lady in CA who sent me two whom I lovingly named Donner and Blitzen (1996-2007).  Getting involved with cats was a risky venture.  I am a loyal dog person of the Golden Retriever variety.  Cats would be a bit easier to take care of but the question persisted, "Would they actually care...about anything?" and for the past 14 years I have been learning the answer to that question.
Donner loved my furniture.  My recliner is scratched to death...and now I will treasure it's scratched exterior for years to come.  Donner loved chicken soup, laying on Abby (my Golden), and purring endlessly.  He had a motor that wouldn't quit.  On a cold winter's night I often pleaded for his companionship which turned out to be a 50/50 proposition.  On a lucky night he would curl his warm body right next to mine and purr us both to sleep.  He would always wait patiently each morning for me to finish in the shower and immediately after I pulled back the curtain he'd jump in and lick the tub as if manna had descended from heaven each morning for him to enjoy.  Donner liked riding in the car where he could roam around and explore.  He would eventually find his way to my shoulder or lap and casually glance out the window for a while before slipping into the back seat for yet another nap.  His ultimate favorite thing however was to climb in the dryer after a load had just finished.  Most times I would leave a towel or two inside and he'd stay there for hours...even in the summer.  Since living at Nashotah he'd wait for me to return from the basement with a basket full of warm laundry and climb right it before I had the chance to fold anything.
Today...however...was the day that every lover of animals comes to dread.  He'd not been eating recently and the vet suspected some kind of tumor.  I hesitated a long time before making the appointment unwilling to let go of a prize so dear. Last night as I read on the couch he curled up on my shoulder and I stayed there the entire night knowing that this might be our last night together.  After the vet examined him this morning and showed me the X-rays I knew...but this time the knowing didn't make it any easier.  As he lay nestled securly in my arms I whispered over and over again just what a wonderful gift God had given me in this life He had created.  My last words to him were..."Go find Blitzen...go find Blitzen..."  and in my mind that is exactly where he is.
Some say that there's a rainbow bridge somewhere and that when we die and leave this life we'll cross over to find those animal friends we've spent our earthly years loving.  I pray it to be so.  All I know for sure is that God created Donner to provide for me a companion that I will never forget and always treasure.  It makes me love God all the more...So goodbye dear friend and know that when I reach those golden shores and see Jesus and all my human friends I'll come looking for you...you can count on it...

A Wonderful Post...that I didn't write...

The Internet Monk is a blog I've read for several years.  Michael Spencer is a gifted communicator and insightful thinker.  Recently he learned that he has cancer and at this point his diagnosis is unclear.  He published a post last year about a friend in a similar circumstances that I found inspiring and uplifting...


The news story is strange and tragic. Three college softball players go for a night time drive in the country. On an unfamiliar road, they take a wrong turn and drive into a pond….and drown.
There was a day before. A day with no thought of drowning. A day with family and friends. Perhaps with no thought of eternity, God or heaven. There was a day when every assumption was that tomorrow would be like today.
(Note: My friend Gary passed on after I wrote this piece.) My friend Gary has been the night dean at our school for more than 20 years. His wife has been in poor health, but he has been a workhorse of health. He’s walked miles every day, eaten a vegetarian diet and always kept the rest of us lifted up with his smile and constant focus on the joy he took in his salvation.
Two weeks ago, the doctor turned to him and said leukemia. Today he stands on the crumbling edge of this earthly shadow, looking at the next world, fighting for his life with all that medicine and prayer can offer. Our prayers for him as a school community have been continuous, because we never thought there would be such a day.
There was a day before he heard “leukemia.” A day of work, chores, bills, hopes of seeing a grandchild, prayers for students, love for Suzi. Not a thought that the journey of life contained such a surprising turn for him.
And on that day, Gary was full of faith, full of a servant’s heart, ready for many more days or ready for this to be last one before whatever was around the corner.
We all live the days before. We are living them now.
There was a day before 9-11.
There was a day before your child told you she was pregnant.
There was a day before your wife said she’d had enough.
There was a day before your employer said “lay offs.”
We are living our days before. We are living them now.
Some of us are doing, for the last time, what we think we will be doing twenty years from now.
Some of us are on the verge of a much shorter life, or a very different life, or a life turned upside down.
Some of us are preaching our last sermon, making love for the last time, saying “I love you” to our children for the last time in our own home. Some of us are spending our last day without the knowledge of eternal judgment and the reality of God. We are promising tomorrow will be different and tomorrow is not going to give us the chance, because God has a different tomorrow entirely on our schedule. We just don’t know it today.
Who am I on this day before I am compelled to be someone else? What am I living for? How am I living out the deepest expression of who I am and what I believe?
My life is an accumulation of days lived out of what I believe is true every day.
Gary lived every day with the story of Jesus nearby and the joy of the Lord a ready word to share.
When the day came that “leukemia” was the word he had to hear, he was already living a day resting in the victory of Jesus. That word, above all earthly powers, cannot be taken away. It speaks louder and more certainly the more the surprising words of providence and tragedy shout their unexpected turns into our ears.
Live each day as the day that all of the Gospel is true. Live this day and be glad in it. Live this day as the day of laying down sin and taking up the glad and good forgiveness of Jesus. Live this day determined to be useful and joyful in Jesus. Live this day in a way that, should all things change tomorrow, you will know that the Lord is your God and this is the day to be satisfied in him.

It's been some time...

It's been awhile since finals, writing papers, and sleepless nights and I can't say I'm disappointed.  In the frigid temperatures of Wisconsin I drove two hours south to Chicago with Abby and Donner in tow.  We spent two wonderful weeks visiting friends whom I love and am loved by.  Long ago they were merely acquaintances that I met through their son Randy, but now I love them like family.  Whenever we're together there's much laughter, eating, and playing board games!  I played more board games on Christmas day then in all of the past 5 years combined.  I received a simple email today that said I was missed already (it's been 3 days) and I was so thankful.  It's wonderful to love and be loved...so Randy, Andy, Don, Deb, Dan, Connie, Mike, Scott, Emily, Kyle, and Kelley...thank you for the laughter and the joy of being together...what a priceless and wonderful gift!
Today was a day of wonderful gifts in other ways.  When I got back to campus I checked my mailbox to discover lots of Christmas cards and special greetings.  A teacher that I worked with sent $500 and my wonderful fellowship at Christ Church sent a check for nearly $3000.00!  Then checking my voicemail my pastor called to say that the church will pay for my airline ticket to fly down to North Carolina for a conference later this month!  The Lord is so faithful to display his love in times of great weakness and doubt.  Thank you God...for blessing me with so many wonderful people...that demonstrate the love of Jesus so clearly.

A Visit with St. Nicholas...

Tonights chapel service was a celebration of Advent.  As we look forward to the remembrance of Christ's birth, we inwardly reflect on the greatest gift mankind has ever been given.  We also remember St. Nicolas and his wonderfully giving heart.  Each year he comes bearing gifts to children young and not so old...but I sat on his lap anyway! He mentioned something about free tuition and a new snow shovel...but I have to be good...I won't get my hopes up to high then.
Nashotah is not like any other seminary.  I've been overwhelmed recently with all the papers to write, books to read, and exams to take.  Then there's the house payments to make, tuition to pay, and the dog to feed.  I just had to take out a student loan...$20,000...and that freaked me out.  I'm not one to live outside my means and have been asking a lot of questions about what this all means.  Does God want me to trust him with debt or is it his way of letting me know it's time to go?  Am I trusting in my own strength and not trusting God?  Am I being financially irresponsible?  The great thing about this place is that those you live with, worship with, and study with....they know.  Today Bryan stopped me after lunch and as we walked back to our apartments he cared enough to ask how I was doing...and then to listen...and I knew he cared...and that meant so much.  Today I also had to meet with a professor about a paper I recently turned in.  In all of my educational career I've never had a teacher spend over an hour with me explaining and discussing something I'd written and who also took the time to ask about how I was doing.  Twice in one day Jesus presented himself through two different Christian brothers that shared the love and concern of a family who cares and is concerned...and that...is priceless...

What the....

6:45 am...Abby and I catch a glimpse of the world that now is.  We look down a street that was once colored green now resembles some kind of walk-in freezer gone mad.  I was have expecting the white witch from Narnia to come riding by in her carriage and offer me some of those delicious British pastry...but alas...she never showed...

As for Abby, who hasn't seen this much white snow...ever, ran about exploring.  She appeared to be searching for grass, but never found any.  When it came time for her to relieve her body of all things unnecessary, she searched endlessly for any area where her bum didn't touch snow.  All attempts proved futile.

1:00 pm  The maintence crew here is brutal.  It was either skip class, skip duties in the refectory, or move my car.  My choice left me with an hour of shoveling, seminarians driving by very slowly, and one unwelcomed comment resembling a school yard chant that went something like, "That's what you get for not moving your car."  I wasn't amused.  I've learned my lesson however.  Next time...I ditch class...

Just for Laughs...

My neighbors, Nathaniel and Sarah, introduced me to these videos on Youtube.  Perhaps it's due to all the reading and heavy thinking but I think it's the candide camera type humor that is so funny.  Catching people in such amusing ways gets a chuckle every time.  Even today before Church History everyone gathered around my computer...even Dr. Peay...and had a good laugh together.  Hope you do too...